Sober in the Times of Vanderpump Rules ft @VanderpumpRobs !!

Emily Rose welcomes friend and fellow podcaster Rob Schulte back to the podcast to discuss his sobriety in the wake of a very sober-heavy season of Vanderpump Rules! They talk about his experience, his reactions and opinions, and even veer a little off path to discuss the Production elephant in the pool and pulsing throughout this season so far! But FIRST! We talk about Rob's LIVE SHOW on MARCH 30th!!

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Transcript

  Hello. Hello. Hello. This is who the fuck knows with Emily Rose. I'm Emily Rose. And today you all, I have a very special guest with a very special Vanderpump rules related topic. But before we get into it, please welcome Rob Schulte of Vanderpump robs. How are you doing? No, I'm doing terrific. Thank you for having me.

Um, I am just looking, you know, I was thinking about, um, You got some very constructive, I'm a podcaster, I, I dive into it. You got constructive Apple reviews the other day and I was noticing that and I was like, damn, she like said she wanted them and the audience came and gave them. Oh, I haven't read them yet.

And I was just like, well, you know, you had said like constructive criticism, you know, like, Hey, what do you like? What do you want more of? Whatever. And then you really read it on the podcast. I will say in every episode, like, Hey, if you can't join the Patreon, Give me a five star review on Apple and it is like pulling teeth to get them, but you did a call.

They left it. They followed the rules. It was great because as we all know, , if you want to give less than five stars instead, the audience should go to a different podcast. They do like. And get five stars at that one because this is all it needs to happen. But anyway, this is something that I was thinking about the other day when I saw your post about that.

Yeah, it was cool. It was really just, I just wanted to give people an opportunity if they were going to, you know, be bitchy. I just wanted them to for sure just give me five stars. You know, everyone has their opinions. Everyone has their good days. And, you know, I certainly have my bad days. So totally fine.

If you know, The internet sure loves to police women's voices. They really do. When we should really be policing Tom Sandoval's interviews, but we should strip him. Maybe not policing. Maybe that's the wrong.

No, definitely the wrong term, not that he would know anything about it because he lives in a world where  his cheating scandal is equivalent to the impact on society and culture of the. Murder and injustice of police brutality against black and brown people in America. And so he's not with us  is a probably way too generous for me to put it, but it is really hard to put into words how frustrating that was.

Yeah. Well, at least he got his notes app apology out of the way early. So, yeah, no way he wrote that, but for sure he spelled embarrassed correctly. So I don't, Oh yeah, no, totally not him. Totally not him. And we're going to talk about him in just a minute before we do, Rob, you have something exciting to share with my audience.

So why don't you go ahead and let us know what's up? On March 30th, 2024. So if you're listening to this after that, everyone too damn late, but there'll be another one. Um, my friend Molly McAleer and I will be having a live podcast called Robin Molly's special interest society. Robin Molly's special interest society.

Molly hosts multiple platforms.  This live event will most likely be taking the form of her podcast trend lightly as well as my podcast. Vanderpump Rob's and we're going to have some special guests. Some of you may know from this podcast, some of you may know from other parts of pop culture, and we're going to, at least on my side of things, talk about a very iconic episode of Vanderpump Rob's.

Vanderpump rules. Every episode is an iconic episode of Vanderpump Rob's. Yes. So if people would like to buy tickets to this, if they're in the Southern California area, you can go to the Vanderpump Rob's Instagram and the ticket link is in my bio 15 in advance or a 20 day of, or if you shell out 35, you can do a little meet and greet.

Meet, meet me, the man behind the mic. And I even just ordered some new t shirts that I will be giving away to meet and greet. The t shirts guys are a brilliant pop culture crossover. If you guys, you'll know when you see them, that it's just fantastic. So don't hesitate. Also, if you want to, because I will actually be at the show, I will be taking a trip from Atlanta to Los Angeles, my friend, Lindsay of Vander pod recaps.

You guys definitely know her and love her. She and I will be meeting up in LA and staying together in our. First thing on our to do list is going to Vanderpump's Vanderpump Rob's show with Molly McAleer of Trend Lightly. And we're so excited. So if you guys just are dying to meet me, I will be there in some capacity.

It's going to be great. And  I think we're all born for the stage. So hopefully we have a great time talking about things. And the ticket link is in my show notes as well, you all. And it was on my last episode too. So you guys, if you. Don't have the time. If you just don't have the time to go to his, you can go in my show notes and go get a ticket from me as well.

People helping people. I love it. There we go. So I have Rob here today to talk about something that interestingly enough, Rob, you and I spoke about my idea of having you on for this subject a few weeks ago. And interestingly enough, this has become an even stronger theme on Vanderpump rules Sobriety Rob you're sober and I definitely want to get into your sobriety journey and how it has shaped you and what you're comfortable sharing about it.

Um, and so. Let's just get started. Tell us about your journey. Okay. Um, when I was seven, no, I'm just kidding.  That could be for some people, not for me. I, um, one sec. I am just about two years sober. So it's not a, Like a life, I mean, it is a life defining thing for me, but it's only a recent thing I've come to because  when I was in college, I just partied really hard, but it was like one of the 16, you know, a lot of people party hard in college.

And, um, as I grew older, like I graduated during the 2009 financial crisis. And so I didn't really get to move out of my college town. Right. And. There were no jobs. And living in a town that's basically, you either get a job at the university, the garage door factory, the call center, or, um, service industry.

Yeah. And my dad owned bars. I worked in bars and venues. Right. And when you work in the service industry in a small town like that, you're pretty much just like, Trading your tips from one bartender to the next bartender to the next server to whatever. Yep. So there was really like a circling the drain bit for me for many years until , I lucked into a job that was like a manager of a coffee shop.

And I, I see that's when I kind of started getting my shit together, wasn't partying as much. I had more responsibility, but I still. Any chance you get. Yeah. There's not a lot to do. You know, you're gonna do the things that make you feel good. Yeah.  Forgetting that like it ultimately would make me feel bad.

Yes. . Um, and then I moved to New York on a whim to  per, you know, try and get a job in podcasting. And I did, and it took some time, but while I was in New York, I was still like. Drinking, but not drinking to excess, you know, I was saving money. I was doing this sort of stuff. Didn't feel like much of a problem.

And it really wasn't like, once I got out of like the depression hole, the circling, the drain of small town life  journey, um, I. Got more confidence. I was doing what I wanted to do. I was, you know, doing these things, but like didn't quite click to me that I was still using like drugs and alcohol as like a crutch.

Right. It just felt like now it was like an activity, like a fun thing to do because I kind of was getting my shit together. Um, and then  took a job that moved me to California where, you know  is legal. And it was much easier to get than in, you know, door to door services in New York. And  but during lockdown, I was still in New York just to take a step back.

And like, there's a lot of times drinking was about the only thing to do. Um, because I was in a one bedroom, highly dense. The populated area. Oh, for sure. And  so when I went to California, that kind of spilled over, like I had just gotten used to like drinking most days and still really wasn't out of control, but like.

There was one day though that like I, funnily enough, went out with Peter Madrigal to get brunch and then, um, we got cigars and then we went to this other place and it was just one of those years where like brainstorming ideas for the podcast at the time, Madrigal at the movies, we're having a great time.

It was fun. It was not like a problem. I don't actually know if I like. Got dosed or, you know, West Hollywood, you never know, um, there, that, there was like a thing going on around the time where like other people had reported stuff like that. I'm not saying that I actually did, but like I got in a haze that I had not experienced ever before in my life, right?

Like, yeah, I woke up on Peter's couch. They had called my girlfriend to come pick me up. It's like. Eight o'clock, right? It's not like four a. m. It's like eight o'clock. And,  and I don't really remember much, but like, you know, I, they got me in the car. I went home, you know, that's always embarrassing to be like in your thirties and like, you know, it's just silly.

And  I woke up in the middle of the night, just like, Oh, like what happened? And I just immediately was like, it's kind of like what Lala had said in episode four of this season, where she was like, you just, everyone's like, she's calling it rock bottom. And that's terminology they use in like the AA program, but like, it's not like I destroyed my life or anything, or I like committed some huge embarrassing act or something like that.

I just realized like I had stopped being in control. Yeah. And I think a lot of mine is like my brother who unfortunately passed away due to alcohol also had like addiction issues. And I think there's just something that like, You know, is genetic or whatever. Um, and I realized like, well, I just got like a job that moved me out here.

And I'm like, like, if I looked at myself 10 years ago, I'm like, this is the life I wanted. Right? Like they paid me to move to LA. I'm working in the industry. I want to work in. I'm doing all this fun stuff. Why the hell would I want to? Fuck it up or risk it, you know, by continuing down a path that like, if anyone I worked with would happen to have been in West Hollywood that day, like, I don't remember exactly, you know what I mean?

Like, I mean, Peter verified that like, he didn't even know I was that fucked up. You know what I mean? Like, he was like, you were acting fine. And then you passed out on my couch, but like, it could have gone the other way. You know, I could have gotten someone's car. I could have done anything. Crazy. You could have said some shit.

You don't know. You never know. And like, um, I could have gotten in a fight. I could have like took off my chunky sweater in a parking lot and tried to fight Frank. Um, but I didn't thank God. And, but that was the point where I was just like, you know what? I know a friend of mine who's in the program. I'm just going to call him and like talk to him about it.

And then he essentially just went into this like, well, you know, maybe you are, maybe you aren't. You know  but like I decided to go to some meetings and  here I am today, two years later and I am fine drinking mocktails. Wow. Well, first of all, congratulations. Thank you. Second of all, you hit on so many things that I wanted to talk to you about.

And actually the first thing was when Lala said on last night's episode that I think she was implying that everyone quote unquote has a moment that they, that's their rock bottom, I guess, is what she was implying, or that's the moment that they get sober for her. It was kind of all within a three day span, I think is what she was saying.

And this is all in, in reference, of course, to James Kennedy, who we've seen on the show struggle with sobriety. It's interesting because when I was trying to figure out the questions I wanted to ask and the things about Vanderpump Rules is that we're in the service industry, right? Of course, it's centering around a bar, a series of bars.

And so the idea of being drunk, drinking, perhaps partaking in other things is ever present, but never really, truly. Addressed. Yeah. Even it felt like with Lala, it didn't, she didn't, it didn't feel like she was immediately kind of telling us exactly why she was sober. That kind of took a little while for her to kind of come out with her story.

And so I don't want to say that it was a joke, but there's always been an underlying tone of kind of downplaying it. Oh, well, you know, they're just, they're in the service industry and that's what people do. But when you look back on it. Some of, I mean, their behavior when they're drunk, as is my behavior sometimes when I'm drunk and I'm sure like you said, you've had those, you had those moments when, before you were sober and you think about things like little things like tequila, Katie, Katie would imbibe on some, in something, perhaps tequila, perhaps something else.

And she would get, She would send rage text, quote unquote. Yeah. Saucy's dark, trade me, Saucy's dark passenger. Where, you know, that's the other side of her that comes out when, you know, we find out later she's hopped up on Adderall. Mm hmm. But also when she's like jealous. But she leads with it being jealousy when in reality we learn it's really about her.

Alcohol or an and Adderall problems, and then you have Schwartz, who's a makeout slut when he's drunk and like just casual cheating, you know, nothing, nothing to worry about or blacking out and ending up at another resort somewhere. And that story has is fodder for a lot of different theories. I don't particularly believe.

The one that they are telling us on the show. So, there's a lot of darkness around this issue of sobriety, and we really only confront it seemingly with James.  Because even Lala kind of took control of her own narrative, whereas James does not seem to have control of his narrative. Yeah, and Go ahead.

Just to, you know, everyone has their own journey, or whatever. Sure, sure. I say it like that because  It becomes hokey sometimes when you hear, you know, pseudo sign pseudo therapeutic pop psychology stuff, you know, about this sort of thing. And. It's interesting that it always revolves around James and like being that like, you know, I have my I don't think there's a perfect way to like work the AA program I think there's a lot of like also things that are questioned about the AA program.

Yeah Validly like like it I get it But I do think that we are like in a spot where there's not a lot of options right for people who are addicts And I think the hard thing is that like, you do face this sort of thing and it is such a like all encompassing thing that you'd like, don't want to be defined by something, right?

You don't want to be like, I am an alcoholic, but there's also a bigger thing with people on this show and not even just James, but like, they don't want to admit anything like the, anything that like makes them seem less than like, they can't confront. Like what we see on the show, it's like hard for them to confront their own faults.

Like there's a lot of defensiveness. And so just to think that we're, we would ever actually get James going to a meeting like Laura Lee or something is just beyond. Anything I believe would actually happen because James also isn't ready to, from what we see on the show, ready to confront things openly, honestly, that are by his own doing, right?

We still get him a lot of times saying, you know, like, I did that because I was drunk, which sure, okay, but like, you're not also like confronting, you know, a lot of times they say like, Alcohol is like 10 percent of the problem. The other problem is like the 90 percent of like why you do drink to excess, right?

Like what is going on that is making you have to have more than two, more than three, more than four, you know? And I don't like that. It's like James's story and that like, even now in this season, I got a lot of problems with season 11 so far. Um, but like. You know, what we see is like this, like clean James getting his life together with his house when like, obviously like Allie does not like him, right?

He does not like himself. Sorry. Um, you know, it's true though. It's just it's so apparent That's what we're getting, you know, yeah, like yeah, he doesn't like himself, you know this most recent episode He's like, you know, I started drinking again because of the comments and this and then we get in a fight and like when I Got sober the first time it was because I was given an ultimatum from Rachel But this time I'm doing it for myself But it just so happened to be after I got in a huge blow up with Ali and she left me for two days Like so are you doing it for yourself and like and it's not me to like dictate his journey But like we get a lot of Contradicting statements from him when it is true, like, think what you want about James.

I happen to not think he's a very good, like, person from what we've told with Kristen's book, all that sort of stuff. Correct. But what he is, is struggling. Yes. And, you know, you can say the same thing about Sandoval. He is struggling. Oh, yes. Do, do they make their bed? Absolutely. Yes. But that doesn't, like, both things can be, can exist at once, right?

They are struggling with something. And I still like to watch the show for entertainment value, but when you do start looking at things critically. You see that like James's storyline is he is struggling and we're trying to put a coat of paint over it. I completely agree. And I think it's interesting too because a lot of critique about this season so far, some of it, there is so much critique.

One thing that people have been saying is  well, a bunch of these people are sober. Lala sober. James is sober. I'm putting that in quotes because he's not drinking right now. He's not drinking right now.  Then you have, Sheena's not drinking right now.  Who else? There was somebody else. It's not. Oh, at this point, Sandoval was also abstaining, I believe from alcohol.

But, but  bright and this comes into this conversation this season about these like quasi sobriety, this terminology and sober curious California sober, which means I think is interesting. I want to hear your opinion on this because I think the original wide definition of California sober originally was like.

Sober from everything but you smoke weed, but now I'm starting to feel like California sober is meant to just say like not drinking abstaining from alcohol specifically, but other things are on the table and I'm not talking about. Like, prescription meds for like  psychological or antipsychotic or anything, like, I take those things.

Um, so that's not what I'm talking about, but I'm taking, I'm talking about hallucinogens, powders, other kinds of pills, that they seem to still be. Participating in and I think it's also interesting because I just did a rewatch of season nine on a whim and that's it. Yeah, I know, but it actually is really fascinating.

I thought about doing, I thought about doing a episode by episode recap. That's COVID season, right? So we're like coming out of COVID still restricted filming essentially. Yes. So it was very odd. But one thing that was interesting to me is that James that season. Was not, or not drinking, he was abstaining from alcohol, but he was, there's a scene where he's like, Oh, I still smoke weed every day, mate.

So he's smoking weed every day. This is also the season where some things go on between him and Rachel that are less than savory in my opinion, um, to your point that there is a problem beneath the alcohol and drug use that needs to be addressed and some behaviors are Solely because of drinking, which seems to kind of be the narrative that is seeming to be put out there.

And there's a lot of narratives that seem to be driven by, I don't know, production, the media I'm on, I'm unclear, but that is a big problem this season. And also apparently on, during season nine, a witness at one of the museums that they were at for Ariana's birthday  overheard them talking about like a.

New type of Adderall that they were on  that I mean, yeah, and literally, and I looked it up and it's a thing and  that wouldn't surprise me because oftentimes. Bravo shows the kids will cop to Adderall and Xanax, but other things, not so much. But how old are these people? You know what I mean?

And I'm not saying like addiction has an age restriction, but like, there's something about like, you know, I think we've talked about this offline before, so. Take this or leave it, but like there's something about like the audience feeding into part of the problem. Yes, and I think that's not Necessarily always true, but I think like, you know, they see this shit James talks about the comments They do, you know, he uses that as like a reason to why he started drinking again Um, but I'm kind of all over the place really like the thing is that they haven't had to What we see on the screen, these people on the screen haven't had to learn any lessons, really.

Right. And they haven't had to grow up, and they haven't had to, and I'm not trying to call them like whippersnappers or anything, but like, there's also a certain point in time where you get, like, I'm almost Tom Sandoval's age. Yeah. I can never quite triangulate how old he is. It's hard to, right, but. I'm almost that age, and it's like.

What on earth are you doing, man? Like, why would you party that hard? Like, don't you want to, like, relax? Yeah. Don't you want to, like, chill, man? Like, like seeing Ariana before the scam of those IVs. Like we're showing on screen, like she looked dead on the couch. Like, why, why do you want to do that? Like, and I guess when you don't have anything else to do, like, cool, you know, but like, I got a lot of shit to do, so like, I don't have time to be hung over all Saturday, you know?

Yeah. Like, and that's just one thing. That's not even like being addicted to it. And so like, when we see these people like aging, it's like so sad to be like, I don't know about you, but like when I was younger and like went to like, not maybe not the club, but like, you know, an event where like things were happening and you're mingling with people.

And then you see like the 40 year old dude there. You're like, what are you, who is this guy? Like, what are you doing? Like, get out of here, weirdo. And like, they may not have been weird at all, but like you, you recognize that like, this is a spot for an age group. Right. And you are out of place in it. Yes. So.

 I don't understand why the partying needs to continue, but it is, well  they're definitely stuck in a cycle. And I think it's interesting what you're saying about their activity and what they have to do, because to be fair. This is like just being filmed, not just, I'm not trying to downplay that it's an excruciating idea to have cameras following you around, especially under the pressure that this particular group of people were under at the time this season.

But. Yeah, it's a little difficult for like, I started realizing when I finally kind of came out of my like depression era recently and really started to try to be a little more consistent, a little more active with the podcasting. I was like, Oh yeah, no, I can't. Like go out and drink on Friday and Saturday and then expect to be available to record on Sunday.

It's not going to happen because I am older and I do experience drinking and anything else. And that's you, right? Yeah. Right. That's you. And I'm similar in that sense. Like if I were to still be drinking, it's like, it just ain't going to happen. And someone else might be able to do that, right? Someone else could do that.

Yeah. But We do have to look at the fact that like, you know, bodies don't bounce back and as fast the older you get, and it's just, you know, it's just mind boggling to me, you know, like my super journey is my journey, right? Like it is not equated to anyone else's, which is kind of what Lala says to in the show.

And that's, she. You know, we can nitpick here and there about certain things, and I've said it on my podcast. You've said it on yours, but like, at the end of the day, she's trying to do what she's trying to do. I think that objectively, maybe not objectively at all, maybe subjectively, what I'm thinking is that like, she probably, recently in episodes, I'm seeing more honesty from her, at least when she's giving to the camera.

I think in the past, there was a lot more. Um, like I would, you know, I, it's not my place to say, but if I were to say something that feels more like being a dry drunk, which is like someone who has stopped drinking alcohol, but. Um, isn't like actively working on the reasons why they were drinking alcohol.

So they're still kind of angry or frustrated or whatever. So when she says that, like, she's learning to forgive again and she doesn't need to be the dog in everyone's spine, it's like, Oh, that feels like growth. Yes, it did. So a little jarring for me. Yeah. Um, but I do think, yeah, very much so. But I do think like, you know, sober curious is silly, but, um, You know, if someone wants to see what their life is like without alcohol, if they think it's an issue, like if that's one step closer to getting them to where they need to be, sure.

 Schwartz doesn't need to do this scam of Nootropics either. Like, I will call out scams every single time I see them. Yeah. And I think that like, I, I've said this on my podcast, but I do think like when he was passing around the new tropics and Allie was just like, I have been wondering about sober curiosity too.

I was like that there's Allie not being a cast member. She's like, you just can't, you can't live in this circle. I'm sorry. Like you're just  you are not for this show. I don't want to be like getting up on Allie, but it is, there's a very definite scene that resonated with me a bit. She's something else, that's for sure.

She's doing She's kind of, she is taking a break from drinking in support of James taking a break from drinking, which I, I don't know, I've never, she's drinking on the show, right? And when Sheena did that with Shea, arguably, maybe not some of her best choices. So it's just crazy.

Um, so actually I wanted to get your opinion on this too, because last week's episode Lala and Ariana filmed a scene, which was fucking unnecessary and very, not my vibe, but whatever to, to be clear, can I, may I, um, you may be    the typical dude for a second and comment on your episode with Lindsay. Oh, yeah, please.

The point of that scene, which I don't think they actually reached, was them planning to go to see you next Tuesday. Okay. Because they were talking about what are we going to wear. Okay. Who's all going. Okay. It's when Lala was like, yeah, I would drip myself in latex if I had your body. Yeah. And, but there is that one moment, it gets muddled by the scene, by the part that you're talking about.

Yeah. Where they start bringing up James's sobriety, which is. It was, it was weird. Well, you're, thank you for saying that because if you listened to the episode, you know, I struggled to understand why the hell we were watching that. Um, I was on a long drive that day and when I have nothing, no one else to talk or anything else like distracting me besides  having my hands on 10 and two and paying complete attention to the road, a literal speed limit.

Yeah. Five under. I was like, I got no one to talk to here, but like, no, they were talking about see you next Tuesday. Okay. Bye. Yeah, no, for sure. And I appreciate that.  Leave a five star review with that constructive criticism, please, Rob. No, that wasn't criticism. I was just trying to help guide why that seemed so out of place because it was a swing and a miss on production there.

It really was. And then something, the conversation around James sobriety, I believe it's Ariana says, well, she can't tell James what to do or can't. She, I think it was Ariana that said that. It was something like, she was like, I like him better sober. Yeah. Okay. And then she was like, but I don't feel comfortable saying that to him.

And Lala was like, yeah, I'm glad you said that because you shouldn't. You, and I don't even feel comfortable saying it to him, but to next episode where she says it to him, but right. Well, that's law. Yeah. Um, and I don't think that's fair. I think I covered it pretty well because there's like, there's a.

There's like a spectrum of things you can talk to people who are in your inner circle. Do I think Ariana and James are that close? No. But they do work together. Sure. And they do like go to pool parties together and I think that if she was just like, if something happened and she was just like, dude, I think you're a little bit better off like.

Like, I don't like being around this, James. That's What, you mean like, if he like, chugs a CBD drink and then about sets the house on fire? Like, something like that? Or Dude, he was acting like a fuckin 14 year old at this party. Also, James, are we supposed to celebrate you going to Target? Like, that's what people do, man.

I was like People go grocery shopping. Sir You, you might have a house now, but you've lived in an apartment you used to live with like an 80-year-old roommate or something. Yeah. You're telling me you've never had to grocery shop before? Yeah. Like, like what is this? What are you doing? Also shop for more than himself and his girlfriend.

Girlfriend. Right. Like that just happens dude. Like we're not gonna celebrate anyway. But it, this is all part of like that James thing, right? Yeah. Like James. James needs constant validation. Yes, and I think that is one, you know, like, I'm not trying to armchair analyze him too much. I mean, I'm sure everyone can go back and point out all the moments that I am, but I, I think that like.

It goes back to this idea of him struggling, right? Like, that's not a talking point that you spent 2, 000 on a party. You know, that grill was probably 1, 000, right? Okay, cool. Then you bought some towels. And I'm sure you didn't buy the cheap ones. And then you bought a bunch of corn and veggies and hot dogs and drinks.

Like, cool, you got stuff. Um, it just seems so interesting that like they're in this like era of Of like, learning what it's like to be an adult, and, you know, I think to the Valley where the tagline is like, let's give adulting a try or whatever, and it's like, yeah, these people, Jackson was 50. Yeah, dude.

Like y'all are adults and like James, you might be 31, but you're an adult. Like, granted, did I have my shit together at 31? No, but  but I, and like, could I buy a house? Absolutely not. I cannot. But like. It is one of those things where it's like, you still, that's kind of the age where you kind of, kind of start pulling it together that, you know, you can't be celebrated for doing the menial tasks at all.

Like, that's the, isn't there some sort of like thing about like, like you don't celebrate. Your partner for doing the things they're supposed to do? Yeah, no, for sure. Like the, your threshold needs to be a little higher and his life threshold is low. Also, because as to your point earlier. That his consequences have been very soft consequences.

And that's also been, in my opinion, I'm, I'm starting to really digest this now because I think I've been in a little bit of denial  the role that Lisa Vanderpump plays, particularly in the life of the men on the show, particularly in the direction of the show. It's funny because on Southern charm, Whitney.

 Whitney being a producer comes up a lot and in the fandom, you know, with the cast, even more so the past couple of years, whereas with Lisa Vanderpump, it's like, well, we don't talk about her being a producer so much because it's, her name is on the show. So we just kind of take it for granted that she, you know, it's her show.

It's her show, but she does have.  Decision making I'm assuming in cert in some piece of production and so this, okay, well we fire them from the establishment, but not really, or we're firing them from the show, but not really because he can be fired from Sir every other Tuesday. No, no reference intended.

Yeah. But then. You're still filming him for the show, so he's not actually losing a job due to his behavior still opening up for cascade Yes, he's still touring in Charleston. Shout out Southern Hospitality. Great job. You guys aren't watching So I think with him He's he just hasn't he hasn't learned hard lessons as a result of his behavior When it comes to his life From the show now, that's not to say he hasn't had a hard childhood or he hasn't had a hard life Well, it hasn't been hard for him ever.

I'm not gonna say that it's I mean his parents I have to assume I have to assume he's had a rough go of it, but I think like at this point you're really You're lying to us and to yourself and it's not making for very good reality television because what are you doing here? And why are you behaving this way?

Well, first of all, he's not Totally sober.  So that might be part of it. And I was wondering, so you did not become sober until after you were living in L. A. Did you watch Vanderpump Rules before you moved out here, there? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. I was making avocado pita Rita's during lockdown when he taught us on his Instagram lives and that's, that, that is what it is like to me when I think about it, like, yeah, I, I do think that I have like.

I don't really have control. I, I have an alcohol allergy, like, I'm not a person who stops at one, right? Um, because what the fuck is the point? Um, like that's where my brain goes, right? No, I get that. Um, and I suffer from depression and you know, all those sorts of things. And so like, none of that is like a  an equation that helps.

It's a distraction, right? And the distraction becomes the crutch and, you know, follow that domino trail and, um, but God damn, I kind of lost my train of thought there. Sorry. I'm a, I'm an addict. Oh, what I was going to say is that I also think that like, I have a. Like a consumption problem, right? Like I'm a bigger guy.

I, you know, I love to eat. I love to, you know, I'm not like, like, I'm not like unhealthy, but like, I do have like a tough time with restraint, like in, in like consumption of the things I enjoy. And so, yeah, I'll eat a whole bag of chips. I'll drink a lot of drinks. I'll smoke a lot of weed, you know, that's what I was like.

And so it's like, if I didn't cut out alcohol and weed and this, you know, like. Like I still fucking struggle with sugar, you know what I mean? And I think part of that is because like I would drink so much booze that's full of sugar too, right? So like my body doesn't know how to like compensate, but luckily sugar is just like not making me pass out on people's couches yet.

Um, but it is one of those things where it's like, sometimes it's more than just like a crutch. Sometimes it's like a crutch and. Like, I just, ever since I was a kid, I, maybe I'm spilling too much, but like ever since I was a kid, like, if we went to a restaurant, you get water or free refills, it's like, I would just drink all of it, like the soda, everything, cause it's just, they're going to keep filling it up and it's just like, it's there, I'm going to drink it.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. And it's interesting because I don't, you probably haven't had a chance to listen, but Kristen Doty released her episode recap today with her. No, I haven't yet. Well, I did. Tell me, tell me about it. So she. So she had Ryan Bailey on  so that's good with Ryan Bailey and still waiting on that email response.

Ryan, I was wondering if you guys were ever going to collab, still waiting, I followed up, I followed up brother. Um, well, he's famous that the world is against Vanderpump, robs, and it's because I think it's a little too real for him. . Anyway, think it's so come out to the live show and see what you've been missing.

Yeah. . Um, anyway, . They were podcasting. And of course Kristen often, you know, doesn't dive in, but alludes, alludes to the allusions, alludes to the allegations that have, that she's made. About James and that have been inferred about him.  And so they were kind of talking about that, but then they were talking about his quote, unquote, sobriety and Kristen said, James has an addictive personality in that he, because Ryan was kind of trying to paint him as just being like a passionate guy who cares too much.

And Kristen was like, well, it's more so that he. Is such an addict by nature that anything that he gets, whatever rush from, whether that be a relationship, a, an endeavor, like a DJ set, alcohol, drugs, that is what fuels him. And when he doesn't have that, he just moves to the next thing and he cannot be without something that is giving him that rush.

And I think that's something to consider when we talk about. How, how addiction manifests differently in everybody. Um, I have had, I have tried substances in the past that I can very easily stop and have and did. And then alcohol, I've kind of been on a weird journey with for several years. But then it wasn't until And that's fine.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I think that should be established that like, not everyone who gets, has a few times, Getting drunk or doing something like, I'm not saying this is you, but like having an embarrassing moment or anything, or like even blacking out more than once, that doesn't make you an alcoholic.

Right. Right. Everyone's journey is different. And like, and I, I'm sorry, I cut you off. I just want to go ahead with the James thing. And like, there's a lot that people talk about that. We do have to also acknowledge. I think it would be. It's not wrong for us to like not acknowledge that like there's so much of this shit that we will not know ever.

Yeah. But from what we do get, it leads us down these roads. Yeah. And that's where it becomes like these like, , gossipy juicy topics but like, opens the door to important topics like this. Oh, do, when you say that, do you mean like conversations or are you talking about like, drug use? Are you talking about more like the things that.

Have been talked about with James, like, or all of it, basically, I just think like the general idea that like, look, look, I'm not going to try and be Mr. Virtue signal or anything like that, but like, I do believe women, right? Like I'm going to believe them a hundred percent of the time, but I also would love for information to be like, when it gets to me, it's usually through like five different.

This person told this person and or it's like a gossip thing and that's fine too. However information gets out I think in general when we talk about these things, we do need to like just keep we don't need to I just like to keep things in perspective that yeah I can only see what's presented to me on TV and that is still raising a ton of questions.

Yeah, like I, yeah. So like, if anything in the rumor mill even becomes true, that's like added on to what has made it through all of production too. Yes. And that's, in my opinion, just like responsible viewing. Responsible consumption of what we're being. Told I agree. You've listened to my episodes, you know where I stand on it.

I believe Kristen Yeah, but I also try to be I try to really emphasize that I'm not a journalist So things that I have heard are also if you've heard it through five channels, then I've heard it through 15 You know, so cuz you're like physically you're closer to the scene that I am But I think Watching these shows.

It does feel a little like we're being gas lit when we're being told it just with the drinking and drugs alone. Oh, well, yeah, no, these 40 somethings can you can see them party drink all day, take shots for seven or eight hours in a row and then go out to a club and then be up the next day. And there's just nothing more to it.

That's just how bodies work. Like, no, guys, There are other substances involved. I hate, I hate, I understand it. It makes sense, like, logically, it makes sense that Bravo can't be like, Oh, well, they were blowing down all night. You know, like, they can't say that. But then They're in the slopes. They were hitting the slopes, they were skiing, they, whatever, but then, you have moments like, that all come together, like Tom Sandoval showing up to Nick Viall's podcast, and the whole thing is a fucking shitshow, I'll never, I don't think I'll ever get, I'll never get over Nick Viall being on a fucking high horse, his douche ass, I'll never get over like, Schwartz, I'll Just period dot.

Nothing more to say there. I'll never get over Sandoval. It's insane, like, to be the stereotypical hungover and or recently drunk person coming in, crying, emotion, like uncontrollable emotions, repeating your words, slurring, you've got sunglasses on, you're not making any sense, you're very easily aggravated, like, These are all really telltale signs, but then to never even address it, like, what are we doing?

That's, and that's what Bravo, a lot of times, especially with these junior shows, Summer House, Southern Charm, Sometimes Below Deck, so much is going on that they don't cop to. Well, and

I'm conflicted about Lala, but what I do stand firm with, with her is These people have to figure it out for themselves at the end of the day. And no one was going to force me or tell me I had a problem and that I wasn't going to believe until I had to make the steps to do it myself. What I agree with is the encouragement.

If a friend wants to encourage someone to seek help, they can only, you know, help them so much, but I feel like they should be able to do that. The problem on the shows is a lot of times we get people being critical rather than helpful. Yeah. And. You know, I've said a lot of shit here that like, maybe I wouldn't say on Vanderpump Robs, not because I, I wouldn't want to, but just because it's not the subject matter.

Well, yeah, that's fine. But like tomorrow I could feel. 100 percent different about a bunch of stuff I said today, right? Probably won't, right? Yeah. Tomorrow I could pick up a drink, right? I, you know, one day at a time, right? Yeah. But like the, the thing is, is that  I think when we boil this down to is everyone's journey is their own.

There's no magic fix for anything. I hate that James's storyline has been like how much he's cleaned up his act and we're four episodes in that could be table setting for James not cleaning up his act in the next 35 percent season. Yeah. Um, so who knows  who TF knows? Um, I. I do, before we end, because I know we're getting to that point, um, I do want to point out something that I, that isn't  addict territory, but I just really want your opinion on.

Yeah, no, let's do it. Come on. Okay.  When they're at the pool party in season four, season 11, episode four, and Sheena's talking about the conversation Lisa. Brought up. And yes, I think Lisa has more than one reason for having this conversation with people, right? Sure. I'm definitely going to side that like she doesn't want them to have regrets.

I get that. Right? Yeah, yeah. If something were to happen to Tom Sandoval after everyone's like, fuck this dude, there would be a little bit of like, oh, damn. Yeah. Maybe we did go a little hard on this guy. Right? Like. Um, but does she also want, you know, to film a TV show? Sure. That creeps in there. Yeah. When Sheena is expressing this to Ariana, one of her really good friends, and like the only thing we get from that episode, and I'm about to record my episode, so you're going to hear this twice people, if you hear, if you're listening to both pods.

As you should, the only significant thing we get from Ariana in that episode is her like making fun of apologizing someone like, am I supposed to go on Instagram and be like, Hey guys, I know my boy, like, I hate that voice. Ariana does that voice a lot. And like,, she's better than that in the sense that like, she's better at articulating herself and like the way that she articulated to Schwartz in the previous episode about like.

I'm done with you is so much better than what she's doing here. Yeah. And I think it's because she's still grieving, right? She's still getting through this and she is just trying to explain what Lisa said. Yes. And she, the edit we get is Ariana continuing to argue. Like why her way is better and Sandoval sucks and it's like, no one's denying that Sandoval has acted like a trash bag, but like, Sheena is conflicted because she has known Sandoval for so long and I don't know about you, I've known some trash bags in my life that I have still like, I hate this phrase, but like extended grace towards and Left the door open for and if they you know continue to fuck up That's when I close it but Sandoval has only done something this bad Once yeah, um, and I think like you can feel that oh fuck Yeah, I went in pretty hard and this guy is like not doing so hot whether or not that's true is another thing But did you do you feel that like we're getting these like funky edits from Ariana where it's like, let's just throw in this Things so that the storyline can be like, Oh, maybe Ariana is not as perfect as we think.

Not that that's true! But they're trying to like paint that picture. Yeah, actually, it was interesting because when I was watching that scene, first of all  first, when I was trying to watch it live, I had to turn it off. Because when we got to Lala and Sheena at Vanderpump's I was like, there's just something about this that is not sitting well with me, and I need to get a good night's rest before I watch this episode.

And so I did. When we were at that scene, I was kind of, I was having a hard time paying attention, but it really wasn't because I was bored. It was because I was uncomfortable. And then I noticed when Sheena was giving, you know, I don't know, exposition when she was explaining this. When it cut to Ariana, it was so out of place, but that voice, you know, that voice.

And so I looked up and I'm like, well, that's this about again. And I, and it felt like it didn't feel like the response, like she was responding to what Sheena was saying. And if she was, then that would be a very odd way to respond. Because if I was putting that in context, that would make sense. Then Ariana would be saying, well.

I don't give a fuck what Lisa Vanderpump wants, what does she want me to do? Does she want me to tell everybody to just be cool with him? I'm not in that place yet. But it feels like that wasn't what we saw. No. Or fully explained. And then, I don't, did you watch the after show? I haven't yet. So, big piece of information that I think is important, and I know everybody's always like, Oh, Sheena tries to make it about herself, but this was actually kind of important.

Sheena, apparently, had a falling out with someone several years ago, who her, she got in a fight with them, and she said something like, she texted them something like, Well, I don't really know what's, what the deal is, but you need to look at yourself and your choices if you want me to give a fuck.

Something like that. And that person ended up committing suicide. And so she also has a lot of personal, and honestly, because I know what people are going to do because they want to. They'll find a way to be like, Sheena probably, Sheena didn't even know that person. Sheena made that whole story up. Sheena lives on planet Mars.

Like, cause that's what they do. But even if she only knew this person tangentially, like saying that to someone and then they do that, it's gonna have, I don't give a fuck if that was like somebody I met for one day, like that would still affect me, but that's not what she's explaining. She's saying that this was a friend of hers.

So. That gives a lot of important context and I'm like, I don't know, it's unclear, like Sheena doesn't say, Oh, well, they didn't let me tell that story. So maybe she didn't express that on camera, but this is something that the, that Ariana knows and that allegedly Katie, I guess would know, but Ariana certainly does.

And that gives a lot of context. And so again, it's like, what are, what is happening with the storytelling and. With the thing with Lala and Allie in the house, talking about if they're going to talk about when James got sober, just to bring it back to sobriety, very, I'm, I'm with you. I don't know if that, if I'm on the right page with what you're saying, but very odd.

Yeah, very odd.  I guess time will tell and before I get out of here to record my show, I do want to say that, like, I am no expert, everyone, you know, like, like Emily said, we're not journalists. We can only speak from our own opinions. So like, please try to compartmentalize. What I speak from my personal journey, what I'm theorizing about people and what I think people should do as like separate stuff.

It's not all because I'm sober. I think I'm not pulling a lala here. And so, but this has been great. This has been awesome. Yes. And I really appreciate you coming on. I wanted you want to talk about your perspective and your unique opinion because we all have one and you, I am not sober, so I can't. Really speak to sobriety the way that maybe you can speak to this show.

That's yeah, listen, there's one thing I know is Vanderbilt rules. Okay. Thank you so much for coming on, Rob. Where can everybody find you? If you want to plug that live show one more time, please keep doing it.

Are you there? You are you can you hear me now? Yes. I can now. Okay. You froze for a quick hot second. So, Oh, weird. Okay. I said, let the people know where they can find you essentially. All right. Well, the podcast is Vanderpump Rob's available wherever you get your podcasts, the bonus content and the support for Vanderpump Rob's is at patreon.

com slash Vanderpump Rob's. And I'm actually running a A hot new deal here, Emily, the first five new paid patrons get one of my fancy new shirts. So I will send it to you if you sign up for either the Pumptini or the Pasta tier. So I am, that's a hell of a deal. I'm just putting it out there, folks. Oh yeah.

The shirts cost me way more than the Patreon costs you. At least for up to four months. Also, I just want to add Rob that you have your Patreon guests and interviews. I was one of them once, but a lot of these guests are actually people from other pieces of pop culture. And so they kind of, They have a really fun perspective and you have a lot of different voices on, and I really enjoy your Patreon episodes and you have a lot of cool concepts.

So not only is it worth it for the shirts, but just for the content itself, I have to say very, very entertaining. Well, I appreciate that. Thank you, Emily. And thanks for having me on. This is great. No problem. You guys know where to find me at who TF knows Emily Rose on Instagram, WTFK, Emily Rose on Twitter.

And you can follow my personal Instagram, Emily, a go, go get the links for the live show. Learn all about my trip to LA with Lindsay. She will be on, on Saturday. I can't wait to see you guys. And I will talk to you guys later.