PRETTY WILD EPS 3 + 4 (THE HEARING & THE MOVE)

Emily Rose Recaps Eps 2 + 3 of "Pretty Wild"!!!

Relevant Links:

 
TESS' MOM https://www.reddit.com/r/AlexisHaines/comments/11lcqu8/a_very_interesting_rant_from_tracie_tesss_mother/#lightbox

Transcript

 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hello! Hello! Hello! This is Who The Fuck Knows with Emily Rose. I'm Emily Rose, and I am back with my series recap of Eve's Pretty Wild, and I could tell you what we talked about last week, but I think I'll let Alexis do it. Previously on Pretty Wild. When the girls go out, I worry they're going to end up with people that aren't the best people.

LAPD? What we have a warrant to search your house. Alexis has been arrested in connection with the Hollywood burglaries. She waived her right to an attorney. What? She's so stupid. Where is Alexis in custody? Press was insane. What was it? Inside? It's not good. I didn't do anything. These are the consequences of hanging out with stupid people.

Now, before I get into it, a couple of things. This week I will be covering episode two, the hearing and episode three, the move. And I have some good news. Apparently, for the past couple of months, E has been releasing the Pretty Wild episodes as full episodes available on YouTube. Now, I have spoken in the past about how I am a YouTube premium girly, so I have YouTube premium.

I am not sure That they wouldn't be available to someone who doesn't have YouTube Premium, but go check it out. I'm pretty sure that they're there.  Also, in the spirit of inconsistency across the retelling of this story, there have been some things that I have tried to fact check that are mysteriously missing from the internet, but  Just trust me.

I wouldn't say this out of my mouth if I didn't believe it, if I hadn't heard it somewhere. So there's going to be a couple of things like that. Also, the episodes that are released on YouTube are not the titles that were originally released with the show. For example, episode three is the move, but on YouTube it is episode three, a fresh start, and a new puppy, or something like that.

So I just wanted to give you guys that context before we got started, so that you knew.  Throughout this series, you'll see that  there are a lot of things that don't make a whole lot of fucking sense.  A lot of, uh, creative coloring of the past and retelling of the future, if you will. That said, let's get into episode two, The Hearing.

The episode begins with a truly chaotic montage of Alexis coming back out of jail. We kind, we're kind of revisiting last episode, but we're seeing this like barrage of photographers and paparazzi following her. We get a very tearful confession from her that she has, she's struggling. She says her life is a struggle child, which I mean, I mean, it was.

Alexis.  My life is, is a struggle right now. Lex, let's go, honey. Whoa, there they are, there they are. Hey, one question, Alexis. Andrea, Andrea, did you ever see Cyrus go to jail? She says that she's very upset for what she's done to the victims, to her family, and we see they can't even get in the car without a picture being taken.

This will come into play later. So, put a pin in that.  And we'll revisit that later.  In the next scene, Alexis and her mother Andrea are in a law office of Jeffrey Rubenstein, who was her lawyer, and Susan Haber.  Both of whom boast a high profile celebrity entertainment rapport. But, the most famous person I could find for Jeffrey was Alexis, and the most famous thing that I could find for Susan was that she represented a rebel Wilson in a case, a restraining order case against a guy who was claiming to be the father of  Rebel's Child, like, I don't know, I don't even remember that, but, so that's a fun fact.

So, they're all sitting there in this law office, and Jeffrey is trying to tell Alexis, like, what to expect, how to dress, how to conduct herself for this very important preliminary hearing, which is going to basically determine, as Susan says, is there enough evidence to actually take this to trial. So, there's a lot riding on this.

There is a lot riding on this. The stakes are high. And, Jeffrey says, let me break it down for you. We need to really lock in on like, what you're gonna wear, how you're gonna come off, like kind of PRing it a little bit. And Alexis goes, well what should, you know, what should I wear? And Jeffrey goes, not that hat.

Not that hat to start. Now,  for those of you who are not able to watch the episode, what Alexis is wearing.  Clothes wise, like, shoulders down, I guess that's fine for the setting she's in. Her hat? She's wearing, like, one of those rave hats, you know what I'm talking about? When, like, circa 2010, circa 2011, maybe now, I don't know, it might still be part of rave culture, I haven't dabbled in a while.

But, you know those, like, long, the sides come down, like they're floppy hats, but then they have ears? Like, Alexis is wearing that.  Which, to me, only confirms that she was on heavy drugs, because why would you, why would you wear that? So Jeffrey goes, not that hat, to start, and she goes, I was thinking of being, like, casual, and he's like, yeah, no, no.

We want people to empathize with you. This is not, like, empathy worthy, basically, is what he's saying.  So then Alexis asks, Will the media be there? Again, we're putting a pin in the media aspect of this whole episode. And Jeffrey says, Yeah, like, they probably will be because this is a high profile case. The job of the press is to get the story.

The job of the district attorney is to prosecute people.  Andrea interjects and says, Innocent people sometimes. It's really sad. It's really awful. And Jeffrey goes, Hey,  Andrea, not helpful. Not helpful. And Andrea victimizes herself and goes, Did I say something that offended you? And then you see Alexis like rolling her eyes.

She's annoyed. Here's how I read the situation.  Jeffrey's like, Hey, Andrea, we don't really need you to spin this. We understand that you're trying to like, use the word innocent a lot on this show. I don't need you to do that. That's my job. Is how I kind of took it. You guys, let me know if you disagree, but It was just obvious that Andrea was trying to Sugarcoat and gloss over and really make it seem like sometimes the press and the attorneys, they just prosecute innocent people for no reason.

Like, bitch, Alexa's not innocent. Okay? She's innocent of, if anything, she's innocent of the media scrutiny that she got at the time. She's not innocent of the crime. Ugh. Anyway, okay. So, moving on. Our next scene and the B plot, really it's actually the A plot if you think of it, of this episode, is Tess and Alexis getting ready to meet up with none other than, need no introduction, Ryan Cabrera.

Now,  you may be thinking, Ryan Cabrera?  I remember him from Newlyweds, and The Ashley Simpson Show, and The Hills, and didn't he sing? He did. He had a song, On the Way Down. At this time, very popular. What I think is interesting in this scene is that Tess says, we're going to meet one of the hottest guys, Ryan Cabrera.

He's one of my older friends.  Ryan is eight years older than Tess. Tess is Say it with me, 18, right? Then 18 plus 8 is 26. So they're going to go meet up with their older 26 year old friend, Ryan Cabrera, at 18 years old, and I just need to talk about Ryan for a second because his,  I made a joke a couple of seconds ago, but he really was so willing to be on reality television and it didn't help his career, not a bit.

Name another song other than On The Way Down. I did this on my Instagram and came up short because no one knows. And I'm not saying this guy's a bad guy. I talk to people that like, God, I talked to somebody who  I think was like a,  worked production for one of his shows recently, like in the past, like six years or something, because apparently he came out with an album in 2018, I think.

Anyway, so. And they said he was lovely. He's married with children now. Does that keep you from being a creep when you were younger, Codyco? I don't know. I digress. Anyway, so we're meeting him at the, quote, studio.  And I know I mentioned this earlier, but I just want to say,  Alexis says he's like the hottest guy.

Tess says he's like the hottest guy. And,  Fast forward to 2020. Alexis very famously goes on Z Way, popular comedian, amazing YouTube show producer, like she's just amazing. She did a show called Race Baiting in 2020, where she would bring on popular white women to kind of like troll them a little bit, fuck with them, and also like challenge them as white women.

And one of the questions that Z Way asks is,  In your show Pretty Wild, you said that Ryan Cabrera was one of the hottest guys in Hollywood. So he once said that Ryan Cabrera could get any girl he wanted. Do you believe your ideology upholds white beauty standards?  Um  If like, the beauty standard for white women was Ryan Cabrera.

It was so funny, and I think about it all the time. So we're in the studio with Ryan, and he's giving what Tess would refer to as a piano lesson to Tess. Really, he just teaches her how to bang one chord on the keyboard. And then afterwards says, Well, now that we're here, you guys wanna like, go to bingo or something?

Again,  Hashtag old. And Tess says, we could go bowling. And he's like, bowling. Yes. And then in our confessional Tess is like, I'm so excited that Ryan Cabrera asked me on a date.  And like.  No, we didn't, you know, like, obviously no, Ryan Cabrera did not ask you on a date test, but it's cute. And they leave all like giddy because they just spent time with Ryan Cabrera, which by the way,  not editing Emily, but I took a pause Emily here on the way down, came out in 2004. 

Newlyweds was on in 2003. He dated Ashley Simpson in 2004.  It's 2009.  Like,  And also, the album that I was saying was most recent, I said 2018. That was giving too much credit. It was 2015!  Like, get a grip. Anyway, moving on. Tess and Alexis go to get massages to talk about Ryan Cabrera and Alexis upcoming court case.

And the way she presents it is just so funny. She's like, Today, me and Tess are going to get massages so we can talk about Tess has stayed with Ryan and my upcoming court case. And they don't really actually talk about her court case, because why would you when you're getting massage? Uh, the girls stripped down to nothing, which is interesting.

An interesting choice that E made. And they do. They talk about how Tess feels like she makes herself look Well, she doesn't use this word. She uses a word that we don't use anymore. But she says she looks stupid in front of him. She doesn't know how to act. And Alexis says  Just set your boundaries and you will really go far.

Like, listening to my advice. And Tess is like, you're so right.  And, scene.  Next, it's the big day. The day of the preliminary hearing. And Alexis stresses out about what to wear.  Andrea says you don't really have time to worry about this. Alexis is wearing those pants, those jeans by the way, that have like, The backflap pockets, but I don't think they were real pockets, but you guys remember?

Those kinds of jeans? I was always told that the jeans without the pockets on the back made your ass look better, but I guess that's not what we're going for, okay? Because we're on the way to the preliminary hearing. And on the road, we get the soundbite that I told you all about in the last episode, where Alexis says this. 

I'm so stressed.  Can I have a five milligram Adderall, please?  Oh shoot, I dropped it down my crotch.  Now I can't stress enough,  a 5 mg Adderall is not going to help your anxiety, but go off I guess. So they get to the court,  and the prosecution  calls one Detective Brett Goodkin and allow me to do this. 

Absolutely talk shit about this absolutely vile man. So, Brett Goodkin is a detective who did work on the case.  He got his whole office intel from Nick Prugo. And, by the way, they go into a lot of detail about this in the Bling Ring documentary on HBO Max, which I highly recommend you watch. I believe it came out in 2022.

Watch that.  Also, this is well documented, but  Brett Goodkin, all of his testimony, I don't know if it was necessarily during the prelim, but during the actual trial would be disregarded because he participated in the Bling Ring  movie by Sofia Coppola and played himself.  And so his whole case, he also did a lot of other like shady shit.

We'll get into it later. This guy sucks. And he was very, listen,  I understand, Alexis, like, robbed somebody, like, Orlando Bloom, like, I get it, and theft, we don't, I don't condone theft on this podcast, but  for Christ's sake, even if the girl wasn't on heroin, it's like, Brett Goodkin was being this way because he wanted to be famous, and he says Later on, that he was kind of enticed by the idea of fame.

Just kind of playing into this idea that no matter what position of power you hold in the Hollywood sphere, you are going to chase fame. So,  we'll get into that in much more detail later. You can definitely look it up.  He gets on the stand and says this. There are people called Detective Brett Goodkin. In the course of your investigation, did you review any surveillance footage?

I did. Whose property was that video surveillance obtained from? The victim, uh, Orlando Bloom. Have you spoken to Nicholas Prugo in relation to this investigation? I have. He's a co defendant. Who did he indicate to you was depicted in that video surveillance with him? Miss Knife, Miss, uh, Rachel Lee. And, uh, Miss Diana Tamayo. 

Approximately how many times do you recall, uh, is Miss Nyers seen in the video surveillance? Miss Nyers is seen in the video leaving Mr. Bloom's three times.  Two of which she's visibly holding a large amount of property.  Was one of the victims Rachel Bilson? Yes. And was any of Ms. Bilson's property recovered from Ms.

Nyer's residence? Yes. A, um, Marc Jacobs purse. Was Lindsay Lohan also a named victim? She was. And was any of her property recovered from Ms. Nyer's residence? Yes. And look, you might be thinking, Emily, that just sounds like somebody who is literally giving a testimony. But again, we're gonna have to get back to him.

Because his  Love for celebrity.  Just, it colors this whole conversation differently, in my opinion. Then when Jeffrey Rubenstein cross examines him or whatever, I don't know. I'm not a lawyer when he gets up and says, well, there wasn't a serial number on the bag that you found. So how do you know it was the bag?

He was like, because they told me it was the bag. I'm just like, this seems a little trivial. And then,  Alexis team files to get the whole case dismissed, and I'll tell you how it went. Not well, bitch.  So, Alexis, who had been kind of hyped up by her team, that like, this would definitely get dropped, because, against Alexis,  There wasn't a lot of evidence against her, but the hype around her that was happening, you know, you've got the camera crews and everything and the way that the bling ring, which we'll, we'll talk about the bling ring guys, but the way that that was perceived by the media and by society as a whole at the time was like, you can't keep getting away with it.

You know, people really were so sick of celebrity at that point and they In 2010, people were, society was so fed up with pop culture and celebrity and they really fucking hated the Kardashians, like hardcore hated the Kardashians. They hated this, what, what we kind of covet now as influencer  culture that I don't even know that everyone covets it, but we, we respect it and understand it.

I think that at the time it just was not like that. It was like, They can't just keep doing whatever they want, robbing these celebrities, which was so hypocritical, because at the same time, people were hating on these celebrities. People hated Paris Hilton. People hated Lindsay, and I don't know that people hated Rachel Bilson, but you get my point, right?

So, they're coming out of the courtroom, It's very no comment, very press like. Alexis is understandably distraught. She comes home, and she's thinking she's gonna give this great news to her family, her family's thinking they're gonna receive it. And Alexis has to break the news that it didn't go the way that they wanted.

Hi! What happened? You have to go to trial.  I'm so sorry, Alexis. I'm so sorry. And God, this family just can't catch a break. Our next scene, Alexis is sitting on the couch, and there's a knock on the door. Andrea answers, and she gets a, she gets a letter. And,  This is one of those you just have to trust me things.

A producer hands her the letter. We didn't actually catch on camera someone serving her with any kind of official document, but anyway  the gist of the scene, Andrea explains that the HOA has been complaining about all of the press that Alexis has been given and they are basically petitioning them to move. 

This is where I really need you guys to trust me. Because the next few things that happen, I have some sources for and some not. So one thing I know for sure, which is based on an article from The Cut that was written in 2020,  titled The Oral, An Oral History of Pretty Wild.  They interview Dan Levy and Amber Mazzola.

Who are both producers. Amber was one of the like actual producers producers like she was in the cut, okay?  She says that it was very difficult to film this show because the HOA Wouldn't allow them to film  and I spoke last episode a little bit about how Dan Levy Talked about how these girls were living In this Hollywood Hills home and Alexis corrects him and said we were living in a Best Western but they did do some filming in a Hollywood Hills home.

That is because they had to film there because the HOA was, had stopped them from filming the reality show there. But the framing of this whole ordeal is that there is so much press on Alexis. There is so much media attention. She's so popular that the neighbors just can't stand it. And  That's probably true to a degree, and obviously if the HOA has a problem with a reality show filming in their neighborhood,  they probably don't want a lot of paparazzi.

But Alexis would also mention later that, in her book,  that she had a hunch a couple of times that Andrea herself had called the paparazzi on Alexis. And so, it's interesting later when Andrea would say, well,  It's not your fault, Alexis. Well, it's not exactly not your fault. It's kind of like, bitch, it's your fault, Andrea.

Because Andrea's been  Kris Jennering it up, right? I mentioned Z Way's episode of race baiting with Alexis earlier. One of the other funny things that Z Way brings up is, Did Andrea walk so Kris Jenner could fly?  And I think it's important to keep that in your mind as we go through the series because really, Andrea was orchestrating a lot of this.

And a lot of these things were,  there were alternate  dealings going on that the producers really didn't have anything to do with, but when we get to the next episode you'll see maybe they did. Anyway, so Andrea gets this letter about the HOA and she dabbles in the idea of moving.  We then get a very interesting Interesting, intimate scene between Alexis and Tess as they pick out Tess's date outfit for this bowling night with Ryan Cabrera that she's so excited for.

They have a very cute moment. They also cosplay or, I don't know, act as Ryan and, and Tess. And how should I act? It's very cute. It's very teenage girl. And while I don't think they necessarily did this in their real life, I do really appreciate their dedication to the bit. So, drama alert,  Tess proceeds to go on the date,  and to her dismay, Ryan brought friends.

He brought guy friends to what Tess was so sure was a real date between her and Ryan. And she says it is so awkward, and I'm like, well, Is it more awkward than having a bunch of cameras? But not that that would bother Ryan, but I digress. So they proceed through the date and then at one point Tess kind of ducks off to call Alexis who clearly doesn't know what the fuck is going on.

First off, he brings a friend.  And then he's like, oh, that's weird. I'm like, what? He's like, oh, some girl I haven't talked to in forever just called me and it was the most awkward thing in the world. I don't even know what I'm doing here. I don't even like bowling. I wish he would have. 

And then Tess goes back to the date and then tells Ryan she's not going out with them tonight. She's over it. And we never saw Ryan again.  So closing out this episode is  a scene that, I have to be honest with you all, I feel like I have evidence somewhere in the ether. about how this actually went down and why it went down the way it did. 

Andrea sits down her family, the girls, to explain that they are moving because of the aforementioned HOA regulations and how strict they are.  And Gabby, well,  Gabby doesn't take it very well.  We're moving.  We're moving somewhere closer to town. No! I don't want to move! Why are you doing this? Because we cannot stay here, honey.

I don't want to go to this stupid city! I don't want to move! We need a change. We need to get out of this area. No, we don't! I like it here! I'm so mad at you right now! It's just almost impossible to even breathe in this community. Every day I feel like people are watching us, everything we do. And I'm tired of it.

Who cares? I'm not grown up yet. I didn't want to leave. I'm really mad at you right now. No, it's not. It is. No, it's not. Mom, you're making me move somewhere. I don't want to leave anywhere. You're not telling the truth. I know what I like. I don't want to live in the city that's so far from where I would ever want to live.

Are you kidding? I can't believe you waited six months. She didn't wait. Yes, you did! Now, you may listen to that and say,  What in the spoiled, brat, bitch ass hell?  You may say that very thing. And, I get it.  I want to say a couple of things, though, that I think are important to understand here.  I swear,  I remember, at one point, Alexis giving an interview specifically about this scene, where she explained that Gabi wasn't just upset that they were, quote, moving.

She was upset for a lot of different reasons. One, being the accountability that Tess and Alexis would not take about how their drug induced shenanigans were attracting a lot of attention.  Two, that they were moving because they couldn't afford the house they were in. Which It was a theme throughout Alexis life of Andrea trying to portray that they had this grandiose life, that they were going to make this money, that they were going to be these stars, and for years, until Pretty Wild, it had failed. 

Remember, her dad is, or was, this semi Productive, semi lucrative, friends producer, and he blew it all on alcohol and drugs and kind of threw their life away. So this is a theme that's kind of been throughout these girls lives. So yes, upon hearing and seeing that, you're going to be like, what the fuck is wrong with this girl?

You're not even, it's Calabasas to Hollywood, you know what I'm saying? But in reality, there was a lot more going on. And also, I seem to remember this was. a result of Andrea telling her daughter on camera.  And you kind of hear it in some of the things that she's saying. I can't believe you waited. I can't believe you would do this right now. 

I think that Gabby was perturbed because she didn't believe the reasoning. She didn't believe it had anything to do with the HOA. She didn't believe that her mom would tell her this on camera and it seemed very overnight, it seemed like Out of nowhere, they were just moving. Now, I don't particularly understand why Gabi was so  Upset, considering she was allegedly homeschooled at the time.

So you weren't really uprooting her from school or anything. You weren't really uprooting her from any kind of established society that she was in, allegedly. But those timelines are pretty obscure to begin with. So, we see this scene, and then Her stepdad, Gabby's stepdad, takes her out to ice cream to kind of debrief with her and tell her basically, like, take leaps of faith, and they will Come back in full.

And this episode rounds out with Gabi having a clear head and really starting to embrace the idea that they will be moving. And she is delighted to find out that there are not HOAs in other places. And then kind of takes a stab at Alexis, which I thought was kind of shady but kind of funny. Where she was like, yeah, and actually if we move to Hollywood, they're gonna be too focused on Paris Hilton to give a fuck about your ass.

And it was like, true. And thus concludes episode 2, The Hearing of Pretty Wild.  Now, as we move into episode 3, I won't lie to you all.  Not a whole lot really happens, as far as story goes, but there are a few things that are important to note. For example, as the girls are moving, which by the way, as Alexis and Tess are moving,  Andrea, like, gets onto them for flirting with the moving guys, and it's just so, like, ugh, yikes, but also kind of me, you know? 

I kind of get it. So they're moving, and then we get introduced to Lola.  Who is Tess's French Bulldog, who Tess found, allegedly, and is just so excited to take care of. So that's important to note. The next thing that's important to note, which, Z Way, who I mentioned in the last episode,  She also takes note that the only black person  that is on this show,  is Vernon Davis.

Vernon Davis, who at the time, I believe, was like 24, 25. He was a very famous, very, very, like, Hall of Fame worthy, tight end for the San Francisco 49ers.  He goes on a date with Tess and Alexis, and keep that in mind, but  the real star of the show, of this episode, is Lola. We'll The French Bulldog, who was adopted by Tess,  but not well taken care of. 

I may be exaggerating, but you, you decide.  Girls, you've got to take care of these dogs better, okay?  Obviously it's not you, Alexis! No one's talking to you! Every 30 minutes, the dog should just be taken out! Look, there's poop residue on my floor! So, yes. The through line of this entire episode is Shit. It's a bunch of bullshit, in my opinion.

Now, uh,  I won't lie to you guys and say, watch this episode and like, love it, until the end. Because, the date that they go on with Vernon Davis, that, Is the next scene where Alexis and Tess get ready and they're like dressing and the actual date itself was kind of cringe Hey Tess, I found you on Twitter.

Did you? Yeah. I tweeted you. I know, I saw it. My pleasure. Do you want to pick something? Are you hungry? I'm gonna let you pick it out for me. Okay. Do you like, um, seafood? I like whatever you like. Okay. I take that back, I'm allergic to shellfish.  I'm allergic to almonds. Are you really? Yeah. I can eat all the other nuts.

There you go. Shut up. Oh, my pleasure.  Was crazy. Am I right?  Whatever. They have the date. They never see each other again. It doesn't matter.  We're Now, getting ready for Gabby's first day of public school. Because we are led to believe that now, now that they're in Hollywood, she can go to public school. It's been a big thing.

Tess and Alexis get her all dressed and ready to go. But, come the day of public school, come her first day of school, there is chaos.  Looking for Tessie's dog isn't really what I want to be doing on my first day of school. Loli!  You know, I want to be getting ready and being super excited. Lola!  I see little paw prints! 

I see puppy prints!  Things escalate pretty quickly, where it's like, kind of cute, like, looking for the little puppy, to, things have gone absolutely nuclear. Nuclear.  Things are not okay. No one is okay.  Lola!  Lola!  Whoa, this hurts barefoot. Lola! Dude,  she's gone. Oh, sorry. Nowhere? Yeah. Oh. Lola! My puppy is gone and I can't find her anywhere.

Lola! I really can't be filmed right now. Like, this isn't f ing funny. I have to find her. I'm sorry. Lola! Lola! Lola! Lola! Lola! Lola! 

And, lo and behold, they do find Lola. They find her.  She is fine, she is unharmed.  Now, this is where things get a little weird, right? Because,  Alexis, in several interviews, swears up and down  That, and, and, and is Gabby. That the producers hid the dog. Meaning, the producers took the dog, took Lola,  just to fuck with them. 

But also, Alexis, in her book, states that  they were so fucked up that day.  They were, the reason that they were so reactive. That we have this like,  really intense footage of them looking for the dog is because of how intoxicated they were.  But also, though, she says,  producers hid the dog. Now,  Amber Mazzola  is one of the producers of the show. 

And she went on record saying, We didn't hide that dog, girl.  We didn't hide that fucking dog. The dog WANDERED. You lost the dog. Dog wandered into Video Village, and then when you guys couldn't find her, we didn't  tell you all  that she was in the garage, which is where Video Village, which for those of you who  are not familiar, Video Village is where like the That's where all the cameras are.

Because when you're producing a show, this is scripted too.  All the cameras are in like one place, right? So she was like Yeah, the dog wandered into Video Village and we were still filming you as you  I mean I don't want to be rude. She didn't say this. I'm not saying this. But objectively you could say Okay.

As you junkies were wandering the streets looking for a dog that wasn't lost, right? So anyway, that's the lore on that, right?  And to close out this episode, I'm going to do something that's like a little shady.  Not intentionally shady, but it's a little shady, right? So, when this episode came out,  Tessa's mom, her birth mom, commented on like a thread of a review of the episode, right? 

And gave a lot  of her perspective. Let's just say that. She gave a lot of perspective. And I just want to say,  Tess has moved on. This is something we should know now. Tess has moved on.  She lives in obscurity. She is not someone you can find. Easily, online. She has like a whole different life. She lived with her dad when she was coming out of addiction and her dad passed away, so that's all,  that is all things that we should know, right?

She doesn't really, she didn't at the time I don't know if she fucks with her mom now, and I am not an advocate of parents, of influencers or anybody famous going online and doing what Some parents do. I'm looking at you, Brooke Schofield. Okay, not Brooke, but your mom, her mom, is, it gives this kind of vibe, right?

But, in 2011,  Tessa's mom went online,  and I keep saying online just because I can't, like, fuckin figure out exactly what  the fuck episode she was on, or, like, what, you know,  forum she was on, so. I'm gonna try my best to read this and please forgive me if I can't read it well,  cause it was a little chaotic.

Uh, Tracy, her mom's name is Tracy. She was replying to someone named Phoebe who I think was talking shit  in one of the comment sections of one of the episodes that was posted in 2011.  To Phoebe, she says, You ignorant little bitch. I am truly Tess Amber Adler's real mother. I never was on drugs and abandoned my child, you ignorant, evil, misinformed twit.

And yes, to everyone else as pathetic as it is, Andrea Nyers Dunn Arlington, fame whore, my ex best friend of eight years, has been using Tess by becoming her manager, as her father, Franklin Simon Adler, Simon Adler threw her out of his home when she was 18. Truth be known, Tess and Alexis met Agoura Hills when Tessie was 4 years old.

Alexis couldn't dance and quit only after maybe 4 months. Relatable. Whereas, Tessie danced with an amazing teacher, Miss Bernadette, for 11 years.  Andrea had street drug problems since she was 16 years old and does drugs at age 47. Not only is this woman a complete liar and fame whore, but she wants 50 percent of any earnings Tess may get or has already received from the totally fake and disturbing show, Pretty Wild. 

Tess has made poor choices, especially going back to Andrea and Alexis and Gabby. They grew up together and had many sleepovers that always ended in a fight.  Andrea would call me and say, come and get Tess, she and Alexis got into another fight. They have been friends and enemies for years. Andrea had no formal education, and she decided, as she decided, to drop out of school and run away from home at 14.

True.  I met her parents. Her mother Libby was a beautiful, kind woman that passed away years ago. Her father and she have always been estranged. Andrea has lived off men her entire life.  Uh, and the saddest thing is that while she remarried, while she is remarried to a new man, Jerry Dunn, she lets her cocaine addicted ex husband live in their garage.

He's been homeless for eight years. Pause. Okay, pause. So, that's true. Andrea  did let her ex husband live  in an extension of their home for years. Uh, Alexis talks about that in their book.  Whatever. So now as a, as a former, my dad used to like  live in the garage. I don't know if that's like too much information, but that did used to be a thing.

So I kind of relate, but now how can these two daughters of hers be normal with a drug addicted mother and their own father who used to be an incredibly talented film director on many hit shows, such as friends, et cetera. Tessie's a natural blonde like myself, and Andrea cooked up this great idea to have Tess dye her hair dark, put tracks in her hair so they could be a spin off of the Kardashians, only it was supposed to be a comedy.

I don't think so, folks. It was a train wreck and devastating to her whole real family. We could not believe that she could  actually steal pictures of my daughter and post them on the e website when she was very young. Okay, pause. Again.  Andrea did do this. She did post pictures  that were supposed to be like a family picture. 

E would ask for like, submissions of like, Old family photos, you know, like, those articles that you see that are like, before they were famous, so Andrea submitted family pictures of her, Tess, and Gabby, and photoshopped, I'm sorry, her, Alexis, and Gabby, and photoshopped Tess into the pictures, and, uh, attached to this  rant, if you will, uh, That is proof that that, those, those were photoshopped, so that was kind of, that was a, that was a scandal. 

It was a real train wreck and devastating to her whole real family. We could not believe she was blah, blah, blah, blah. This is beyond inappropriate to say the least. Then she photoshopped pictures of Tess in a strange way up against some rocks. Like that was believable. No, Andrea is not, never was Tessie's mother.

In fact, I have many emails. I may just post to her disappointment that Tess would not change her Facebook name from Tess Amber, the name I gave her to Tess Arlington.  This pissed Andrea off so bad that Tess walked out many times and did not even show up to shoot the show Pretty Wild. On many occasions, this Andrea wanted 50 percent of her earnings.

Tess may have serious opiate addictions, but was Andrea, oh yeah, getting high and drunk? Sorry, Tess may have serious opiate addictions. But where was Andrea? Oh yeah, getting high and drunk. She loves her wine and pot for sure.  So while you all spew out hatred towards my child, look at the fact that once she left her father's home, she moved in with her boyfriend, Beau. 

I know, because she was at my sister's home several times to see her niece and nephews. They broke up Tess.  They broke up, sorry, they broke up. Tess needed a place to crash. Poof. There you have it, folks. Disaster strikes under the wonderful care of Andrea. Please. Like I said, Tessie's a beautiful young woman with her own demons.

That only she can help herself. Andrea wants to get Alexis and Tessie to be advocates against drugs, while I think she's a desperate woman with the morals of a heap of rhino dung.  With her husband out of work and attorney bills for Alexis, and let's not forget about Michael Nyers living in the garage, how does Gabby even stand a chance?

She was always sweet, I should know, while Andrea was off running around with other men, she often doped. I dumped both Alexis and Gabby on myself and my fiancé every chance she got, but we loved them, they were so damn cute, you couldn't help but love them, they were starved for attention. Andrea always had her own agenda.

All I wish for and pray each and every day is for my sweet, beautiful daughter to snap out of it and understand that Andrea  is just Turning her against me and only harms Tessie. And yes, for all Okay. Here we go.  And yes, for all those that need to know the truth, Tess Adler, Taylor's breasts are real once and for all.

You can just You can all type what you think, but you're all just pathetic picking on Tess the way you do. When things get tough in life, people are capable of anything, and I found out last year, thanks to Andrea's greed. If you read this, Tessie We love you, and you don't need to apologize, or think that we could not have forgiveness and only love for you.

The only things you have said and done are just done. I believe Andrea should stay as far away from you, Tessie. She just wants to use you and brainwash you with her pathetic affirmations in the book from the secret and signs of mind. She can stick all her  She can Signs of mine she can stick all her baffle everyone with her lies and bullshit straight up her ass where she knows she likes it.

Truth be known. That's the real truth to Nick. Nick Ritchie I think is who she's talking about. And Perez Hilton and any other bloggers that don't know the truth. In closing, I think we live in a hateful world and people have as much They have too much time doing nothing with their own lives to write such other lies.

Sincerely, Trace Adler Tess, Amber Adler's real mother, just for the record, exclamation point.  And then she follows up.  Oh, by the way, Andrea, I am glad you are glad to be on the slaughtering block. Now why don't you just go and put your head down and let someone slaughter you, you fucking bitch.  The world would love to see that.

Maybe you can make it your new reality show. But all we need is one episode for all to see that you truly want to be slaughtered. I know I do And so it is you friggin nut job I'd love to be there for your brilliant performance and smile while you get slaughtered, just saying the truth. No lies here, you fucking lying bitch.

I hope you go straight to hell with an unlined, heavy wool pantsuit glued to your body for eternity. Oh yeah, and so it is. Wow. Well,  Uh, There's really not much  to say, honestly, after that. Um,  and I'm sorry for the, the grammatical errors that I'm sure happened, I, it was hard to read.  If you, if you think that there were a lot of  punctuation, like, grammatically it wasn't written very well, it wasn't written like someone that was in their right mind.

So just, again, like I said at the beginning, keep that in mind. Um, so yeah, that was in like 2011.  And From what I understand, Tess would not get cleaned for like another couple of years after that was posted and She still didn't fuck with her mom  Like that, but she was cool with her dad and her dad again passed away recently So anyway all of that to say wow, what an episode What an episode what a time  Just what, what a couple of episodes.

So if you guys have enjoyed it, thank you so much for listening.  If you want to follow me, you can follow me at WhoTFKnowsEmilyRose on Instagram. You can follow my Twitter account, WTFKEmilyRose on Twitter. You can, uh,  Subscribe to my Patreon if you want. That will be in the show notes. And other than that, I will see you guys next time.

Buh bye! Outro Music